Blessed

This week has been a great week for me personally. The highlight came last night.  I felt truly honoured to be nominated and voted as a finalist in the Goulburn Business Excellence Awards in the category of Business Leader.  I would never have nominated myself for this award.  I was nominated by someone (other than my staff) as a surprise.  Knowing that I was involved in organising the awards it was kept as a total surprise – nothing mentioned in the program.  The first I knew of it was when I got called up as a finalist. 

I am pretty sure I know who nominated me and I truly thank them for this honour.  You see, I usually feel undeserved when it comes to any recognition in Goulburn because I don’t live there.  I spend part of my week, ever week there.  I own a business, pay rent, buy goods and services and employ staff there.  I am involved in a number of community organisations there.  When people ask me where I am from (in a business setting), I usually answer Goulburn.  Yet, my home address is in Sydney so I feel I can never really be considered a Goulburn business person.

Yet last night a friend anonymously validated that (to some at least) I am a Goulburn business person.  Even better, our business went of to receive two other awards on the night.   People were congratulating me and saying how well deserved it all was.  That was just as big a surprise. When our Mayor handed me our Employer of Choice award and said “well deserved Jo”, I was so chuffed. The only word I could think of was that I am blessed.  Blessed to be a member of such an accepting and dynamic business community.  Bless to have such great staff and friends in that community.  Blessed to have found my community.

The last few weeks have been pretty amazing with some exciting opportunities presenting themselves.  Who knows where they may lead but I am going to try my hardest to make the most of these opportunities.  However, I do find it very hard to accept that I deserve anything good to happen to me.

I believe it is called imposter syndrome.  The definition according to Wikipedia is:

a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a "fraud".

As my business gets more successful I struggle with this.  My internal critical voice is always talking, saying I am not doing things well enough, I am not expert enough, perhaps I am just not good enough.

Last week I met a new friend at our Meet the Press Masterclass course, Bronwen Sciortino.  Bronwen introduced herself to the group as a recovering perfectionist.  I am sure the fact we clicked almost instantly was not coincidental.  Bronwen has written two books to help other perfectionists and I am working my way through them now.  You can find out more about Bronwen at her website  https://sheiqlife.com/. 

In her first book Bronwen mentions a major award she won and how she felt guilt at winning it.  I confess my first reaction last night was exactly that.  How can I be nominated for this award?  Who have I pushed out of the running?  How embarrassing?

I thought straight away of Bronwen.  Her words were pushing back against my inner voice.  I graciously accepted my awards and instead of guilt, I felt pride.

I don’t know too many people who word harder than I do.  I work exceptionally long hours and I volunteer time to help other businesses and community groups succeed.  My desire to be seen as an expert in my field has meant that I have studied almost non-stop since leaving school.  I am continually learning and developing.

I chose Goulburn to be the place where I can use my skills.  It is such an honour to be recognised for this.

Thank you Goulburn for letting me be part of your business community.  Today I feel blessed.

The World's Fast Indian

I sit here writing this as my husband watches his favourite movie for the 1 millionth time (slight exaggeration), “The World’s Fastest Indian”.  I am not quite sure what it is about this movie that resonates with him so much, but he has watched it over and over again.  He calls me into the lounge room to watch certain favourite parts.  I think he likes the innocence and irony of the movie.  The ability for someone older to achieve their life long goal, while maintaining that sense of humour only us Aussies or Kiwi’s can.  I must admit I often have a tear in my eye when Burt Munroe returns to Invercargill after he has achieved his dream of breaking the speed record.

I have a client who owns a few Indian motor cycles.  I hope that one day my client and my husband meet.  I am sure that the Indian will be a lovely connection between the two of them.   

It makes me think of the few shows I can watch time and time again.  I am sure we all have one or two that we just can’t pass by when we flick through the Foxtel channels.  There are a couple of movies I can’t pass up – Sweet Home Alabama, The Holiday, Love Actually and Top Gun.  I am also a fan of American political dramas, particularly the West Wing.  However, my all-time favourite show without doubt is Sex in the City.

Sarah Jessica Parker, how I love thee!  Anyone who is in their 40’s or older surely watched this show, and perhaps loved it as much as I did.  We all knew which character we were most like, or perhaps we had a bit of all of the characters in our repertoire?  Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte & Miranda.  The quintessential independent women who had control of their lives and were successful in their careers.  Any wonder we loved these women!

Twenty years later I can watch the shows and still relate to them.  The fashions may have changed, but their honest conversations are still relevant today.  These are MY women, they grew up in MY time.  A time when there was no such word as “sexting” and honest conversations about personal things like sex just did not happen.  I learned so much from these shows.  We did not have those conversations with our girlfriends back in those days.  “Sex in the City” gave us permission to have those conversations. 

Now I am going to let you in on a little secret.  I once did some life coaching and part of my course was to think of my characters in life and give them names.  Depending on your situation you act differently, and if you can channel a character, take on their characteristics, that can work well for you.  I embraced this concept.  I guess it is not surprise who some of my characters are.

Carrie – when I want to be creative and write, I channel Carrie.  I like to wear clothes like Carrie, think like Carrie and write like Carrie.  She is definitely my favourite character and the one I aspire to the most.  She is so opposite to me, creative and free spirited, yet that I identify so well with her.    

Samantha – There are parts of Samantha that are not like me ( I will leave that to your imagination), but I love Samantha’s strength of character and confidence.  I lack both of those but when I need to put my big girl pants on I channel my inner Samantha. 

Charlotte – Although I hate to admit it, I am probably more like Charlotte than any other character.  I am the eternal goody two shoes.  I am a bit of a prude.  I dream of the perfect life.  Charlotte challenges me to step outside of my comfort zone simply because I don’t want to be as similar to Charlotte as I am.   

Miranda – My identification with Miranda is based on her professionalism.  Miranda is the lawyer (I am the accountant).  We believe we can be the career women and have it all.  We understand that we sometimes need to forgo the glamour to be taken seriously.    

I have a few other non-Sex in the City characters but it is amazing how much this one show has impacted my life.  Great shows give us life-long lessons.  We watch them time and time again to remind us of those lessons.  Whether it be the resilience of breaking the speed record on an Indian, or the honest relationship we girls can have with our best friends, the lessons are authentic.  That is what makes these shows stand out from the crowd.

Put your heels on and drink a Cosmopolitan. Let’s thank our favourite fictional characters for the lessons they have taught us and how they have impacted our lifes.

Painting by numbers

I am a long standing Board member of Southern Tables Arts, a regional arts organisation that provides arts programs, services and invaluable information to the creatives in the local government areas we serve.  I sometimes find my involvement with an Arts board amusing as I am very much a left brain person.  I am not remotely creative.  I cannot draw or paint to save myself, and my piano playing skills are limited to Heart & Soul.  I am a fabulous singer and dancer in the privacy of my own domain (with a few glasses of wine under my belt), but in real life my talent is extremely limited. 

I came to recognise my limitations many years ago. Unlike my family who have always been crafty and imaginative, I found no joy in creating something from wool or fabric.  I once managed to knit one arm of a jumper (thanks mum for finishing that jumper for me).  My worst ever school mark was for Textile and Design after the sloppy joe I tried to create had arms that were so skinny they would only fit a baby. After a few failed attempts at sewing clothes for my kids I gave away my sewing machine and acknowledge my lack of skill and interest in this area.  I am not a creative, but that does not mean I can’t appreciate art.

Art makes our communities better and our lives more colourful.  Nothing has shown me that more than being involved on this Board.  We provide programs for the aged, disabled and our youth.  We celebrate our history and our cultural diversity.   Art is much more than a painting on a wall, although paintings on the wall are beautiful.  Art is a way to express our feelings, opinions and engage our communities in discussion.  Art creates our own history and stories to pass to future generations.

Despite my left brain tendencies, I am starting to see art in my own life.  I believe that I read numbers with a level of creativity.  A P&L and balance sheet appear to me like a story.  This is not a freaky, card counting at the casino type of thing (I am not that good at maths), but the numbers speak to me.  I see art in numbers.  We are taught at university that accounting is an exact science, but knowing how to manipulate the numbers (legally of course) to set directions and achieve results is an art.  It is this creative side of my business that I enjoy most.  It feel joy when I find a good solution to a problem and help make my client’s business lives better.  That is an art, not a science.

Although I am not creative in a traditional arts project way, I do create things.  I have created businesses, brands and solutions. My mind is constantly ticking with new ideas and imagining how they can be executed into realities.  There are parallels between creating a successful business and creating a beautiful art piece.  It takes planning, imagination and skill.  Igniting the right brain only enhances our abilities to build better businesses. 

Take the creative skills you have, learn from them and develop them.  Integrate them into your lives. Even if you are not particularly good at them, if they bring you joy then have the courage to try.  Sing, dance, paint, sew be imaginative.  Spark your right brain and see how it impacts on your life.  Help make this world, your world a better place.  Together we can create real beauty to share. 

Outside my comfort zone

Our much anticipated holiday to the USA finally arrived and we are now part way through our adventure.  It was always intended to be a pretty simple trip, combining a business conference in San Diego with a holiday.  We are not the tourist type so we just wanted to go to a few places, immerse ourselves in the culture for a few days, explore a little and come home with some great memories.

It is while I am away that I realise how my anxiety can take over my emotions at times.  I do tend to overthink things and try to imagine every possible scenario before it arrives.  This holiday has taken me outside of my comfort zone both from a travel perspective but also from a business perspective.  I live to tell the tale, but I wish I could be more laid back about things, to see what the tide does.

Our first port of call was Sana Monica where we did a bit of tourist trip around LA.  It was fun, and Venice Beach is crazy.  Never smelled so much weed in my life but that is the new normal for California.  It is a mix between those who are really healthy and those who smoke weed, the very rich and the very poor.  I can safely say I will never be able to shop on Rodeo drive.  It was a good few days but both Rod and I were thinking ahead and starting to stress about the next leg of our journey.

There is a certain amount of fear that comes from driving on the wrong side of the road, on the wrong side of the car.  When your first experience of such driving is on an LA freeway the fear is real.  Thankfully my husband Rod handled the situation really well.  We make a great team – he drives, I direct and remind him to stay in his lane.  We kept our yelling to a minimum and we made it from Santa Monica to Ensenada in Mexico, crossing the border and finding our way to our hotel even though the road signs all being in Spanish. 

Despite the warning of Mexico being unsafe, we had a fabulous time south of the border.  With our confidence levels high we took a drive out to the Valle de Guadalupe and visited some wineries.  We mastered the Peso as well as the USD.  Rod got his hair cut by a guy who spoke no English and l quite like his Amigo hair cut.  We made a few new friends, drank too many cheap margaritas and heard enough Mexican music to last a lifetime (well maybe a few years).

Anxiety started to form on our last day in Ensenada knowing that crossing the border back into the USA would be much more difficult than entering Mexico.  We asked people what we should do, had access to border wait time websites and did as much research as we could.  None of this was any benefit when about 15 minutes before we reached the border the migrant caravan of people from Honduras attempted to storm across the border. 

In hindsight we are lucky we were not 15 minutes earlier and caught up in it.  Instead we got to a closed border and had to find an alternate way to cross.  That alternative border crossing is at Otay which is about a 20 minute drive across Tijuana (talk about outside of our comfort zone).  We then sat in the line of traffic for 3 and a half hours waiting for our turn to show our passports and cross that border. 

We then navigated a new set of freeways until we found our hotel at Pacific Beach, San Diego.  Finally we could relax for a couple of days and enjoy the sun.  San Diego is a really nice part of California and somewhere I could easily live.  Even though the weather turned bad for our last day ( and I mean freezing / raining / windy bad) we really enjoyed our time there.  We didn’t get to explore as much as we hoped because I was at a conference for most of the time and the free day saw really bad weather, but we loved it just the same. 

I finally took the opportunity to drive while in San Diego.  It was not that difficult after all.  Outside of my comfort zone, yes, but difficult, no.  All these new experiences, navigating new places, working out what to order from the menu, knowing how much to tip, working out how/where to drop off the hire car, looking and feeling like a tourist,  it is all part of the fun of travelling but it is not great when the anxiety starts to overtake the enjoyment of the moment.  We did it all so easily so I have no idea what I was worrying about.

However, my biggest anxiety has come from being away from work.  I had joked that it is like leaving your child with a baby sitter and going overseas, but the reality is, that is exactly how I feel.

Of course I can phone and stay in contact via the internet.  Now that we are fully cloud based I can even work, but it is not the same as being there. The time zones are different, so I cherished the mornings when everyone was asleep in Australia and I could get some work done.  As the afternoon arrived the anxiety would build as my need to constantly check my emails continued until I went to sleep at night.  I am not sure what my problem is.  The office is still there.  Work is still being done.  I have faith in my business partner and my team, yet I just can’t relax and let go.  Beyond all the other adventures and challenges we have faced this last 2 weeks, being away from work has by far been my biggest challenge mentally.

With every phone call, text message or email from a client my anxiety grows.  How can I handle this from a distance?  Who can I delegate to?  Can my staff resolve the issue or does it need to be me? Am I putting too much pressure on my business partner and my staff?  Am I not giving Rod the attention he deserves (he didn’t come on holidays to watch me work)?

I have one week left and I am going to do my best to put my anxiety on hold and be as fully present to my husband and myself for our week in Hawaii.  I have faith that my team can do the work.   Surely most things can wait and I can prioritise the urgent matters.  Ultimately I need to respect myself enough to believe that I am entitled to a holiday as well.

Aloha from Hawaii.   I will be back in Australia in the blink of an eye and I can catch up on all the issues and work then.  In the meantime you will find me at the beach!!!

Writers Block

I have been struggling these last two weeks to put pen to paper.  It is not that I have nothing to write about.  I am constantly coming up with ideas for the blog, so much so that I am wondering if my head is too full of ideas.  My brain seems to work in some sort of compartmental way, everything gets pushed into a little box, and I think it is just confused right now.   When that happens, the first things to go is my creativity.  I go back to my safe zone of routine and numbers.

I can feel the stress creeping in too.  It is almost end of financial year and we are about to hit our crazily busy time.  I have not had my usual June holiday which allows me to reset in preparation for the hard work that follows 30 June.  I feel completely unprepared from both a personal and a business perspective.  The seconds are ticking away towards that date like a steam training powering to its destination and I am waking in the early morning as my brain jolts into action, creating lists of things I must do.  Yet as I attempt to tick off those lists, they seem to just get longer with each task I complete.

I have been trying to reset my brain by thinking about what was working for me a few weeks ago when I felt on top of my game.  Yesterday was a beautiful autumn day.  The sun was shining so I decided to take a walk at midday, listening to my favourite podcast (Lewis Howes ‘The School of Greatness’) to try to get some inspiration.  However, the thing that inspired me most was that while walking I ran into not one, but two of my friends along the way, and each time we stopped to have a chat. 

It made me think about why I was walking and what it is that I value most.  As a numbers person, I am pretty driven to increase my step count and the amount of exercise I do compared to the prior week.  This if often why I go for a walk – to make sure I achieve my target. There is really no value to this achievement except that I am competitive, even with myself and it gives me that micro second of satisfaction.  Stopping to talk to my friends interrupted the time I was spending exercising, but I felt so much more than a micro second of satisfaction.  I was feeling grateful that I know people, that I have friends, that we can stop and chat.  There was no time frame to it, it was not planned and it didn’t fit into the tight schedule I had set for my day, but it made me happy.

I know that these next few months are going to be stressful so I need to take the time to look after myself and value my downtime.  I did say that I was going to try to meditate for 10 minutes each day.  Somehow, I quickly lost track with that.  I can’t believe that I cannot find 10 minutes in the day to sit somewhere quiet and do nothing.  Before writing this blog, I returned to my meditation practice and I am going to try a consistent 30 days again.  It needs to be a priority, just as much as all the other noise that is coming at me from so many directions.  Yet still, while meditating I was thinking ‘what am I going to write about’.

One tip that was given to me some time ago by a life coach was the ability to get yourself into the right state for the task you are doing.  We discussed the various types of “Jo” that there are and what kind of state I need to be in to be that particular “Jo”.  When I want to write (which is pretty much the only creative thing I do) I channel my inner Carrie Bradshaw.  If you don’t know who Carrie Bradshaw is, she is the main character in Sex in the City, my favourite character in my all time favourite show.  If I am having trouble being creative, I need to think like Carrie.  This may mean I need to wear something bright and cheery, or put on some nice jewellery or shoes, let my hair by free and feel a little hippy in my attitude.  I need to move myself away from Sensible Jo to something else.

I got myself dress ready to go out, made myself a cup of tea and took my laptop out to the veranda where it was peaceful and zen like.  I sat in the sun on another beautiful Autumn day and let the words come to me with no plan.  I just wanted to get down what I was thinking and let it serve as a guide to me in the busy times ahead.

I hope you enjoyed it.

Bali, my place to contemplate

This is a blog I wrote last year while I was on holidays.  I probably won't get a holiday this year so I though it would be good to include it.  A reminder of what I am missing out on.

There is nothing like a holiday to get the creative juices flowing and it really makes you re-evaluate what you do and why you are doing it.  It has become a bit of a tradition for me to take a few weeks off in July and head to my favourite place for some much needed R&R.  We farewell one financial year and all the effort that goes into it, and start a new financial year – with a new set of challenges and work.  It is not until you jump off the cycle for a few weeks that you realise how much effort you have been putting in.

My holiday destination is a small island just off the coast of mainland Bali called Nusa Lembongan.  Every time I come here I feel a true sense of peace.  With peace comes disconnection, reflection and creativity.

At home I spend my time being the chief of organisation.  Ok, so it is fair to say I am a bit of a control freak, but if I am not organising things for work or clients, I am organising my husband and children’s lives.  I know I am not alone in this – I see it happen to a lot of my colleagues.  You become the go-to person when there is a problem to be solved – and the better you get at it, the more you are in demand.

While I am in Lembongan, I am not the problem solver.  I am sitting here writing while someone is cooking me breakfast.  I don’t have to make the beds or ensure the washing is done.  But most importantly, I really have no problems to solve.  When the biggest decision of the day is whether to have banana pancakes or an omelette for breakfast, you know the stress levels are not that high.

However, I can’t help being an observer at the way this small island runs, and the way that they are perhaps a little better at achieving work live balance than we are.  They are deeply religious people and have very different values to us, most of which revolve around family and spirituality.  Their ambition is not to have a grand holiday or fill their houses with luxury items, but to make ends meet and support the family.  They are not wealthy people, they rarely (if ever) go on holidays, but they seem very happy and content.

One immediate observation is the pace of life. The people walk to a slower beat.  The food is served at a slower pace, and even while working, most of the Balinese seem happy and relaxed.  If there is nothing immediate to be done, they do nothing.  They chat to their workmates, make jokes, smile and enjoy the incredible views.  I cannot think of a time at work when I am not wearing the “Busy Badge” with a list of tasks to attend to.  I also can’t recall a time at work where I have just sat, chatted to my colleagues and relaxed. 

Now I don’t want my staff getting any wrong ideas – the work still needs to be done and the harsh reality is that we work in a busy office, not on an idyllic holiday island.  But perhaps we should be taking a few moments out each day to take off our “Busy Badge” and let some happy thoughts in.  Perhaps we can bring the pace down a notch, and if we do, perhaps we will find that work can also be a source of enjoyment, not just a pool of stress.

The other observation is that this happy, relaxed state is contagious.  I think all the visitors to the island catch it.  No one seems stressed here and the occasional new visitor who has not acclimatised, and still carries on with their busy western attitudes – well they stand out like a sore thumb.  Visitors happily chat to other visitors, try to speak the language (with many giggles at our poor attempts), and we shrug off mistaken orders with a grin.  My lunchtime ginger ale was mistaken for dry gin.  Oh well, bring me some tonic and it is all good.

I am just hoping I can hold onto this attitude for at least a few weeks on my return to reality.  I think I shall be changing my screensaver to a picture that will remind me how I am feeling right now, and when I look at it I will smile, and think of my island friends serving the latest group of tourists their Nasi Goreng and Bintang, at a slow island pace of course.

Mind & Spirit

I started 2018 in a pretty low place.  I work so hard and I take on a great deal of stress.  I try to keep my family functioning at a reasonable level, which includes all the usual domestic duties.  I had a big audit on at work which was taking up extra time above all of the other day to day things involved in running your own business.  On top of this we had decided to move house.  All this stress was stacking up and I knew that is was turning into a cranky person to live with and work with.

I felt like I needed some inspiration and I discovered the world of podcasts.  Ok, I know, I am old.  Most people discovered this years ago.  I changed my routine a little.  When I went for a walk I would listen to a podcast.  When I was driving my car I would listen to a podcast.  All this content and inspiration was flowing through my ears and the idea of going for a long walk suddenly seemed so much more appealing.

I started with the one name I knew in motivation, Tony Robbins.  His podcast only has a limited number of episodes and I had soon listened to all of them.  Where to next?  Spotify was suggesting the number 1 business/motivational podcast was The School of Greatness by Lewis Howes, so I tried it.  Wow!  My mind was suddenly open to so much possibility.  Lewis, it was your podcast that inspired me to start this blog.

Lewis interviews people who are experts in their fields, be it business, health, sport or motivation.  He asks great questions and gets some really insightful answers.  I started to follow some of these people on Instagram and there seems to be tribe of people out there, like me, who want to make themselves be the best they can be.

One particular guest caught my attention over all others so far (there are over 600 episodes so I still have a long way to go) and that was an ex-monk by the name of Jay Shetty.  If you have not watched this guy’s motivational videos on Youtube, I suggest you take a look.  It was something about his message that made me take the leap into the unknown and start this blog. 

In all honesty, I don’t care if anyone reads my blog.  This is for me.  At the very least, at the end of this year when I turn 50 I will know what I have done over the year and I can look back and see if I have developed in any way.  Hopefully I have allowed myself to open my mind to new things, to be a little more successful in my business, but most of all to be proud of the person I am.

I do not have my shit together.  I don’t know that I ever will, or if anyone ever does, but I am willing to give it a try.  If I can lead a more meaningful and authentic life, take time out to really be with my family and friends, and take a little extra pressure off myself I will feel like I have achieved something.