When your kids grow up

Inevitably all things must change.  Sometimes we crave change, other times we want our little bubble of happiness not to burst.  We want some moments to last for ever.  But it cannot and we must face the reality that moments turn into memories.  Some moments are defining moments, others can simply be forgotten.  Some bring joy, others bring sadness.  And there are these pivotal moments that change the direction your life will take you.

I find it interesting to choose certain moments in time and then trace them back to what started it all.  All the twists and turns along the way that lead to that one moment.  Were they merely coincidental or was there always a greater plan?  Everyone has differently beliefs about this, but I believe that our lives path is somewhat guided for us.  We need to make decisions based on our gut feelings and we should not regret those decisions because they were meant to lead us in a direction for a reason.

In the past few weeks my son Jordan has made a major life decision and it has highlighted to me that my babies have grown up.  Interesting my older son Joel made a similar decision when he was around the same age and I am equally as proud of both of my boys for making these big decisions despite both of them being concerned that they would upset me as a result.  As a mother you only want what is best for your children, you want them to be happy and healthy and you don’t want them to live with regrets.  You devote yourself to guiding them until they can guide themselves.  There are feelings of achievement and loss all mixed together. 

There are so many milestone moments as a child grows up.  First steps, first days of school, last days of school, sporting achievements, exam results, first jobs, all proudly shared and celebrated with parents.  Your child’s achievement is also your achievement and we can’t help but live our life through our children.   However, this latest milestone comes without fanfare or a defining date.  It sneaks up on you in a phone call from you child advising you that they have made a life altering decision without your assistance.  All you can do is have faith that you have given them the grounding and guidance to have made the best decision, and support them in it.

I started 2019 dealing with the change of having both of my children decide to move out and live with their father.  Although it saddened me, I knew it was a good decision for our “Brady Bunch” family.  The move actually made us closer.  We were no longer bickering about silly things like leaving dirty plates in the sink and the eternally messy bedrooms.  We were now having regular phone chats and meeting for lunch where we could have a laugh and share a bottle of wine.  I still had my step son and his girlfriend living with us, so the house was always busy with activity.

We became empty nesters in September when Jarrod and Charley moved out.  This was a bigger change than I had anticipated.  There are some distinct benefits in being an empty nester.  You don’t have to worry about getting caught ducking from the bathroom to the bedroom in the nude (nice), and you always have the rights to use the lounge room TV. Yet life does feel different now that all the kids have gone.  I no longer needed to cater for whoever may be home for dinner – it was just us and cooking for 2 is no way near as interesting as cooking for 6.  It is quiet, sometimes too quiet.  The house is generally pretty tidy but it also means there is less to do so Netflix has been getting a good work out.  I think we (as in Rod and I) are both trying to adjust to our new reality.

My challenge for 2020 is to find something to fill the gap other than work.  Until now my life has revolved around working and following my kids around to sport.  With so many hours spent driving to training, watch their games, being involved in the sporting clubs, little time was left to find any interests of my own.  Any available spare time was devoted to work (and continues to be).  The irony, now that I have time to have more “balance” in my life, I have no idea how to do that.  I am just spending more and more time working. 

I know there are plenty more milestones ahead and my kids are still a big part of my life.  Coming to terms with the changes of being middle age can be difficult, but I am very much aware that I need to embrace every minute.  I have a few ideas of new things that I will be adding to my life in 2020 to fill some of those gaps.  I am looking forward to some new and interesting challenges in the year ahead, both professionally and as I tinker with some new hobbies.  Life is short and we need to enjoy each and every moment and embrace where our life path is taking us.

Most importantly, I will be a keen observer of my son’s lives as they choose their own directions.  They know that I am always available for a chat and I will always be here to support them in their decisions.  But they will be their decisions, not my decisions because they are grown ups now.

Mum

I used to hate Mother’s Day when my kids were young.  As a divorced mother I always felt disappointed.  Other mums would be spoilt with gifts and love, while my children were not always with me, and their father certainly didn’t shower me with gifts.  Selfishly I would feel depressed and unloved.  Of course, this was me being dramatic.  My kids love me and don’t need to shower me with gifts to let me know.  Now that they are older they do show their appreciation and I am proud to be their mum.  That is something worth celebrating.

I recognise that Mother’s Day is difficult for lots of families for many reasons.  My selfish reasons for not enjoying the day are minor compared to others who may have lost their mum or lost a child.  I can’t imagine how tough it must be for you some of you out there.  For some of my family who have recently lost their Mum or Nan, I am thinking of you today.

I am sure we can all think of a mum who does an amazing job and is worth celebrating.  So today, I am going to talk about my mum Robyn.

Mum was born on Mother’s Day in 1944.  That means this week she is turning 75.  She is a strong women who holds our family together like the threads of a well knit jumper.  She is caring and compassionate looking after her mum (my Nan) who is 97 years old, as well and my Dad who is often sick and can be rather demanding.

Mum has been through the ups and downs of our lives and is always there to celebrate with us or shed a tear when things aren’t great.  She is fiercely proud of her daughters and grandchildren.  She does her best to get to every sporting gaming or award ceremony that her family are involved with.  She is always the first person we call when we are in need of help and will drop everything to provide the assistance we need.  Mum loves a chat and a glass of wine and we often combine the two to solve the problems of the world.

Mum has always volunteered and the example she has set passed on to both my sister and I.  Whether she was involved at school or with our sport, mum certainly knows how to keep busy.  Even now in her retirement she is Treasurer at two not for profit organisations.  Clearly my interest in numbers came from my mum but she taught us that organisations don’t run without the help of volunteers and if you have the skills to help, you should.  I can’t imagine the number of volunteer hours Mum has put in over the years.  You are a legend Mum.

These past few months have been particularly tough on Mum.  While mum was recovering from a knee replacement in March, my aunt passed away from her battle with cancer, and my father had back surgery.  He surgery did not go according to plan, and he has been very sick.  He has been in and out of hospital over that past 7 weeks but he is finally home.  At the same time my Nan is not travelling too good and this has been hard on Mum.  Mum has had a lot of pressure to deal with and we know it has been difficult.  Hopefully things will start to settle down soon. 

Mum, we love you.  We appreciate everything you do for us.  Whether it is looking after our kids, taking us in when times have been bad, supporting us and being our best cheerleader.  We would not be the people we are today with your love and compassion.  Have an excellent Mother’s Day Mum, and enjoy your special birthday this week.  You make us proud xxx

Breaking the rules

When it comes to rules I think there are generally two types of people.  Those who stick with the rules and those who like to break them.  Of course, like anything there is a scale on how rule oriented your are, but we all tend to sit on one side of this scale.

I know that I am most definitely one who plays by the rules.  Frustratingly so.  I am sure that a psychologist could provide me with plenty of reasons to explain why am like this.  I guess it is no surprise that I became an accountant, choosing a profession that is rule based.  However, the internal chatter in my mind when I do feel like I am breaking a rule is horrible.  I am not talking get sent to jail rules, I mean simple rules like being late to an event or missing paying a bill on time.  In my mind this is a reflection on my lack of discipline and something I tend to beat myself up about.

To increase my frustration, my husband tends to sit on the other side of the rule spectrum.  He really does not like to conform and typically does not give a damn about what people think as a result.  Of course, this creates conflict between us, which neither of us can quite understand from the other person’s point of view.  Quite possibly this is what attracted us to each other in the first place.  Perhaps secretly I need someone to give me permission to break the rules, and my husband needs someone to help keep him in line.

This week I happened to break a few of my rules and so far the earth is still turning.  Thursday was ANZAC day and it also happened to be one of our friend’s 50th birthday.  He was arriving from an overseas trip and a surprise party had been organised for 7.30 am when he returned from the airport. 

The conflict started when I was up at 5.30am preparing food for the surprise party and my husband was snuggled in bed catching up on his sleep.  We knew it was a surprise party and we knew we could not be late, yet getting him to have a shower and be ready took a lot of effort and a lot of screaming at each other.  I am sure he really did not care whether we were there on time, yet all I could vision was us turning up at exactly the wrong moment and spoiling the surprise. 

Needless to say we got there on time and surprise went well.  And then it was my turn to break the rules, well my rules at least.  I had a glass of champagne at 7.30am (not post lunchtime).  I followed this with another glass, and then a couple of cocktails and then I pretty much lost count.  I was pretty tipsy and it was not even lunchtime yet.  I don’t think I have ever done that before.  My husband seemed to be mildly proud of me for letting my hair down, having fun and breaking my rules.

I am not condoning early morning drinking, and I can’t really see an occasion when I will do this again, but the moment was right.   I had a fun morning, I attended a lunchtime ANZAC memorial ceremony and then I went home and had a Nana nap to sleep it all off.  I did not turn my computer on all day.

As this weekend draws to a close I have enjoyed some “me” time.  My husband has been doing a training course in a country town, and I have had to keep myself occupied during the days.  This is a big change to our family dynamic, typically it is Rod who travels with me to a conference.  I have loved the freedom of not being at home, taking long walks, occupying my time in cafes and sitting in the park writing. 

I even broke another little rule and checked out of the hotel late.  Who knows, this may become a habit!! 

Enjoy your week.   

Today I am 50

Today I turn 50 years old.  I can’t quite believe I am that old but it is a privilege to have made it this far in such good health.  There is no doubt that a big birthday like this is a time to reflect and today I have already had the opportunity to laugh and cry with my family.  I have had messages, cards and presents and I thank everyone for their support of my over this first 50 years.

I have been thinking about what to write about this day for weeks now.  It was a year ago that I started my blog Jigsaw Jo with the intention of documenting my year long journey to 50.  It was my time to become the fabulous women I aspired to be.  It was my intention that by today I would feel like I had achieved a measure of success that I could be proud of.

Unfortunately my plans got a little side tracked.  I must say it has been a crazy year. I have made some small improvements and fought some battles.  I have grown my existing business and started a new business, which diverted my attention from Jigsaw Jo to Tradie WAGS.  I have moved house (again) and watch my kids grow into independent adults and leave my nest.  Work has been more demanding that ever and I have felt a lot of pressure as a business owner this year.  I am sure there are many more wrinkles on my face after the stressful year I have had.

I have not achieved any of the objectives I had set for myself this time last year.  I still hate the way I look but I am starting to come to the realisation that this is who I am.  Despite committing myself to going to the gym and being fit and healthy I am still overweight.   I never have a decent photo taken of me and I cannot take a complement because deep down, I do not believe any complement made to me can be true.  Despite all of this I am slowly starting to feel a little more comfortable in my own skin.  I am making a determined effort to be confident, putting myself in situations which force me to test my resolve and take me outside of my comfort zone.

My age should not be a barrier to achieving what I really want to achieve.  One thing is for sure – I am not ready to give up yet.  While I have not succeeded in the traditional way that most people succeed, I am mildly proud of what I have achieved so far.  I don’t own a house and I have no wealth, so to most people I am not a success.  However, I hold my head high and give 100% each and every day to everything I do.  I have helped so many people with their finances and businesses.  I have supported my family and raised two great young men.  I have provided jobs to many people over the years and helped my staff to develop their skills.  I have volunteered my time to a number of not-for-profit groups and love to be involved in my communities.  I am proud of my integrity and generosity.

I love learning and I welcome a challenge.  Sometimes it all feels a little too much but most of the time I love what I do.  I am looking forward to the next decade when new ideas will pop into my head driving me in the next direction.  I know there will be many challenges and obstacles along the way but that is what makes life interesting.

That is me.  I’m Jigsaw Jo, flaws and all, and now I’m 50.   

What I am learning from my kids - Part 2

Today is Joel’s day.  It was exactly 22 years ago that my cute as a button baby boy came into this world. Happy birthday Joel.

Your first child is special in so many ways, and I cherish those first 4 years when it was just the two of us learning so much together.  Joel taught me how to be a parent.  He took me through that crash course all mum’s receive when they suddenly have another person to look after, with no instruction manual.  Fortunately for me Joel was a pretty good baby.  If he was fed he was happy.  He was eager to learn and loved all the stereotypically boys things like Thomas the Tank Engine and dinosaurs.  We would play for hours and watch all our favourite videos together.  That special bond was created.

Even when Jordan arrived and took my attention away from Joel, he coped pretty well.  I think the 4 year gap was a good thing.  Joel was busy taking on those new growing up experiences like kindergarten and sports.  He was taking me on a whole new journey of parental experiences.  I became a soccer mum (although only for 2 years), and learned that volunteering in sports would give me so much joy.  I still recall that first day at soccer when Joel was 4 years old and they asked for parent volunteers for coach and manager.  Ron McFarlane put his hand up to be coach, and I put my hand up to be manager.  Years later I still call Ron & Leanne McFarlane my friends, even if I don’t see them too often.  The relationships you make through kids sports are priceless and I urge everyone to be involved in what their kids are doing.

So Joel was not a great soccer player but he did score one goal which was probably the most exciting thing for me at that time.  I loved celebrating his achievements but I hated the way, as a parent, we get caught in that trap of competitiveness with other parents.  There is always someone faster, smarter, more popular than your child and as mum that plays on your mind.  One major lesson that Joel has taught me is that I had no need to be a competitive mum.  He is fine with the way he is.  He is comfortable in his own skin, and happy to be part of a team, to compete against the opposition but not against his own team mates.  Perhaps he was always wise beyond his years.

It was because of Joel that we moved from soccer to rugby league and that opened up a whole new world for our family.  New, lifelong friends were made and rugby league is a major part of our lives now.  Joel was a good league player, but he was not as passionate as his brother.  When he chose to stop playing as a 16 year old it broke my heart.  However, it is a game that requires your passion and Joel wanted to do other things.  Ironically, it was back to soccer for Joel, back to the same club he started out at.  I really enjoyed watching him play a sport purely for the fun of it.  After all, that is what sport is all about, playing a game with your mates.

Joel has a unique character and that is one of the things I love so much about him.  He is passionate, but it is not about sport.  It is about film, gaming and books.  I always read to Joel when he was little.  It started out small but by the time he got a little older we moved onto Harry Potter.  The first two books I read aloud to Joel.  By the time we got to the third book, he could read it himself.  He devoured books, and still does.  I remember when the final Harry Potter book came out, we arrived at the shops at 9am to purchase it.  Joel was in a mild panic that it would be sold out, but we secured a copy.  He then read it all day and all night until he had finished it.  A marathon effort that only someone with a passion for reading can do. 

His passion probably borders on obsession at times.  I always knew that Joel loved gaming, but I didn’t realise how much.  I believe he is pretty good at it.  We seemed to always be at EB Games buying another game as he had finished the last one.  He has that technical brain, but he is also surprisingly creative.  He loves film and science fiction and if he goes missing in action for a few hours, he is probably at the movies seeing the latest release.

One of the proudest moments for me was when Joel nervously advised me that he was quitting university as he had been accepted into a Diploma of Screen and Media course at a private college, AIE.  My pride was based around the fact he had made the decision himself, he had prepared his portfolio, attended an interview and been accepted without our knowledge.  That made me incredibly proud.  My boy was growing up and making his own decisions.

Over the past 2 years at AIE I have watched Joel thrive.  He loves what he is doing and he seems pretty good at it.  He has come out of his shell and he has found his tribe of people, making friends with like minded souls.  He seems so happy and dedicated to his craft of film editing.  Even if I don’t really understand what it is you are doing I am so proud of you for following your passion and having the courage to do so.  You will have a career doing something you love and not many people get to do that.

Another thing Joel has taught me is resilience.  Joel has had challenges in his life journey so far.  He watched his parents marriage dissolve, and as our oldest, was very much aware of what was going on.  He has a brother who is much more in the lime light than he is, which must be difficult at times.  Yet Joel takes it all in his stride.  I have never heard him speak with jealousy of his brother.  I have never heard him complain about his situation in life.  He is always carefree and supportive. 

Joel, you are very much loved and I am so proud of the man you have become.  I look forward to watching what the future holds for you and I want to be invited along when you win that Academy Award for film editing.  Enjoy your 22nd birthday mate.  Love from Mum xxx

The live music hangover

It is the morning after and I am coming down from the natural high I feel when I hear live music.  It is what I call my live music hangover.  We identified in my personal coaching that something I need to work on is to find some fun in my life.  I know that I can be too serious and focused, and this prevents me from having fun.  I watch my family and friends and the fun they seem to have, but I feel like there is a barrier between sensible Jo and fun Jo that is difficult to remove.  But not so much when there is live music.

It is a long weekend here in Sydney and the perfect opportunity to put work and study aside for a day and go to a local pub, “The Bull & Bush” to watch some of my favourite bands.  They are my favourite bands because they are “our” bands, made up of our friends, singing the songs we know.  Hey, sometimes I even get up there and join in as a back up singer for a song or two.

In all honesty, yesterday when I got to the pub I was not really in the mood.  My husband and sister had started the party earlier than me, and I was still very much in sensible Jo mode.  I don’t deny that a couple of vodkas helped me to relax a little but something special happens when that music starts to play.  It can practically visualise the belted constraints of sensible Jo breaking away as I move to the vibrating beat of the music.  I am having fun!

For the next few hours I am free.  Free to sing and dance.  Free to move unrestrictedly to the beat.  Free to connect with my friends on an unspoken level. We are in this together.  We are sharing an experience.  Most importantly, I forget that I am sensible Jo and I don’t worry about what other people are thinking of me. 

I can’t imagine how amazing it would be to be a musician and to feel this high on a regular basis.  Unfortunately, when it comes to any of the arts I have zero talent.  I did learn to play the piano as a child, but I played the piano like someone who would one day become an accountant.  Music, like most things in my life, was about numbers, patterns and routines.  It is only as you get older that you realise that good music is about soul and passion.  Even if I had continued with the piano as a child, I would never have been a good musician as I would still be seeing the music in patterns and numbers.  That does not mean that I cannot appreciate the music that other people play, recognising their soul and passion.

I have been concentrating lately on reframing and altering my state.  I have been listening to podcasts in the car rather than music, which has been extremely inspiring, but I think I need a bit more balance.  I miss turning the music up loud, signing my head off in the car, and feeling happy when I do so.  My own private concert where no one is there to judge how bad my singing actually is.  I need to do this some more of this to help me to change my state.  I think I have come to a realisation that music is an important element in my life, even though I am not musical.

Yesterday I found a happy place for a few hours.  A problem I have is the morning after when sensible Jo starts to creep back in.  I remember what I did, how free I was feeling, and I start to wonder what other people were thinking of me.  I feel guilty about having fun and I feel those belted constraints tightening up again.  I over think the situation and I start to beat myself up about letting my guard down.

Today I don’t feel that way for the first time in a long time.  I gave myself permission to let loose for a few hours, and I am giving myself permission to not stress about it.  It is egocentric to think that people actually care what I do and how stupid I look as I dance my butt off.  I didn’t do anything too crazy and maybe people were too busy having their own fun to be judgemental of others.  I know a lot of my insecurities are all in my head, but if they are in my head, doesn’t mean that I have control of those insecurities as well?  I am not allowing myself to have a guilt hangover today.

Thank you to Jimbo, Nelsey, Leny’s Girl and The Predicators for a great afternoon of live music.  It was a pity that it had to end so suddenly due to licencing laws.  I didn’t get to have a sing as a result but there will be other opportunities to “Jump in my Car”.   Most importantly, thank you for giving me the platform to have a few hours of fun.  I had a blast.   

What I am learning from my kids - Part 1

This is Part 1 because I have two sons and they have each taught me different things.  But today is Jordan’s day in more ways than one, so I will start with my youngest son.

Jordan is about to turn 18 and has his entire life ahead of him.  He is full of personality (although not in the mornings), and full of ambition.  Most of you are aware that Jordan is a pretty good rugby league player and he is on the verge of either making it (or not) as a professional rugby league player.  There are still so many variables at play, and he still has a lot of work to do, but he is in the right place to make this possibility a reality.

Clearly Jordan got his sporting ability from his father.  My friends can attest to the fact that I have no natural sporting ability.  I love sport, I try hard, but I have no talent in the sporting arena at all.  What Jordan got from me, I feel, is determination.  He just got it a whole lot earlier in life than I did.

Although Jordan is good at footy, he is not as naturally talented as some other players.  He has to work hard at it, and the progress he has made to date has not come easy.  He has not always been picked in the representative teams, and when he was he was not always picked to play.  He has had a number of disappointments along the way and was pretty close to giving up about a year ago.  It was at the point he made the decision to play for the joy of the game.

He changed to a new district and a new club to play with his mates.  This move was such a positive one.  He got so much support from his new club St Patricks Blacktown, and he got his mojo back.  Without being aware of it, he was picked in the Penrith under 18’s representative squad.  This was a large squad that would be cut dramatically, and he needed to make the decision to try the Penrith option which was very risky, or to go with the team where he had a much greater certainty of playing.  It is a big decision for 17 year old, and everyone seemed to have an opinion on which way he should go.   

Clearly, he chose the more difficult option.  He backed himself and I have watched him work so hard to achieve what he has this year.  He has committed to his fitness and his diet at a time when most 17 year old’s are out partying hard.  He still has fun and his mates are mostly like minded footy players who support each other in their own unique way, but he has made a lot of sacrifices this year.  He has achieved more than I think any of us expected and it was only due to his own self believe and commitment.

What have I learned for Jordan?  When I am sweating it out at the gym and don’t think I can do those extra reps, my mind always goes back to Jordan.  He would not give up, so I cannot either.  He has taught me not to take things too seriously and to get over the small failures.  There is always the next game where you can improve on your performance.  There is always something you can learn from what you did to make you perform better next time.  He has taught me to be classy in defeat and to always be a good sport.

You need to have a plan B and Jordan is very realistic about his future career.  He will start his apprenticeship as an electrician when he finishes school at the end of the year.  Hopefully the footy will continue and he will continue to love playing the game.  Until then mate, enjoy this year of your life.   Enjoy turning 18 in 9 days time.  Enjoy making it to representative grand final as not many people get to do that.  Enjoy your last year of school and try just a bit to get OK results.

No matter what today’s grand final results bring, it is just another game so enjoy the moment.  We are all so proud of you and know you will do your best.

Date Night

Date night is something that Rod and I began as a weekly event when we first started seeing each other about 10 and a half years ago.  It was the one night we were child free and we would go out for a romantic dinner followed by a few drinks at one of the local pubs, The Bull and Bush.

Move forward 10 years and date night has evolved into an event that now attracts a group of our friends.  I am not quite sure it is “date night” anymore but it is a good chance for us to catch up with some of our mates, have a bite to eat, a few beverages and share a few laughs.  Date night is Thursday night at the Winston Hills Hotel.  There is no RSVP involved.  Date night is now an institution for a small group of our friends.

This week’s date night was probably the first one that has not involved me drinking.  Due to my clean eating plan it required some preparation.  I knew exactly what food I was going to order and I knew exactly what I was going to drink.  My fellow “date-nighter” Maxine is joining me in this 30 day detox so we gave each other moral support.  There were no issues.  We passed the test with flying colours.

It was great to wake up on Friday morning and attend my PT session without feeling hung over.  I am starting to like the feeling of not drinking.

The food is another issue.  I have been really good, sticking to my program, but it is difficult.  I find myself craving to eat something that I can’t have.  I need to learn how to switch my brain over, to distract myself from that craving because it does pass quickly. However, the temptation to just cheat a little is always there.  We are talking about cheese and bread here – I can’t imagine how hard it must be to give up a smoking or a drug addiction.

Getting back to date night, I think it is important as a couple to make some time for each other.  We get caught up in our day to day lives, doing the things we have to do.  Often, we forget about spending time with those who are most important to us.  As we get older, the kids become less of a constraint to spending time together, but we still lead fairly separate lives for the majority of the week. 

I am incredibly dedicated to my work.  If I am not working, I need to be doing something (housework, study, exercise).  I really cannot sit still for very long.  When I do get a few minutes to myself I have no clue what to do with them.  I can always find a productive way to fill those minutes.  The alternative is that I use alcohol as a method to move me into a relaxed state and I know that there must be a better answer.  This is a challenge I am dealing with in this new alcohol free state.

Rod is the yin to my yang.  His life is not as busy as mine and he often drags me out of my frenzied work state and grounds me.   He encourages me to relax and be present. Putting the phone away when we are together on date night is an example.  No distractions.  I am there to be a couple and a friend, not to be an accountant. 

In my opinion, date night without alcohol made the night better.  I can’t say I won’t be drinking on date night after the 30 days, but I do intend to keep the drinking to a minimum.  I want this detox to be the start of something that makes me better in the long run.  Thanks Rod for supporting me in this and I am already looking forward to a sober date night next week.

My Family

If I am going to be blogging about my family I think it is a good starting point to set the scene and introduce my family.

I know my kids are not going to be that keen on me blogging about them, so I will try to keep my writing about them to a minimum, but I am a proud mum of two boys, Joel and Jordan who are 21 and 17 respectively.  Both of my boys have grown to be fine young men, and if I achieve nothing else, of that I am proud.

I have been through a divorce with the boy’s father and I am now happily married to Rod.  We have been together for just under eleven years and although our marriage has its usual challenges and ups and downs, we do love each other deeply and work each day to make our marriage that bit better.

I am also a step mum to Jarrod who is Rod’s son.  Jarrod and Jordan live with us, while Joel lives with his dad only a few suburbs away.  Apart from the confusion of all the “J” names we manage to co-habit reasonably well.  We were not expecting it to be the Brady Bunch but it has been an interesting exercise for all of us to learn to live together.  Rod & I chose each other but our kids did not have that choice so the fact they have put the effort in to make this work is appreciated.

Speaking of the Brady Bunch, we recently moved house so we could live with my sister Michelle and her son Keegan.  Their surname happens to be Brady so now we are a hybrid of the Brady Bunch.  The fact that Rod now appears to have two wives is a constant source of humour among our friends.  I guess it is not that much different to Mike Brady living with both Carol and Alice at the same time.

Not only did this joint living experiment make economic sense for all of us in the ridiculous Sydney property market, but it has been really nice having some female company in the house.  It is great to be able to just pop downstairs and have a coffee with my sister while all the boys are upstairs watching bloke shows on TV.  We have only been living together for a few months but so far, so good.

My parents also live close by and I know that I am fortunate to still have both of my parents.  My mum Robyn has recently retired and is trying to find her place in this new situation.  Not one to be sitting around she is now the Treasurer for two organisations and is actively involved with a few other organisations.  I think she is even busier now that she has retired.  Mum also helps to look after my nan Molly who is 96 years young.  Given my family history of longevity I think I still have a few years ahead of my yet.

My dad Varis has been retired for a few years but also does a bit of volunteer work.  He is very active in the Men’s Shed which is a fantastic concept and he is now learning all these new skills.  They are just about to embark on my dad’s dream holiday of cruising down the Panama Canal and while they are away dad will celebrate his 75th birthday.  I am sure they will have a fabulous time.

I am fortunate to have a small but close family and a lot of what I do revolves around these special people in my life.