That Day

Anyone who is old enough to remember will be able to tell you where they were and what they were doing when they found out about the terrorism acts of 11 September 2001.  My story is not remarkable, and I have no actual connection to the event with the exception of being a citizen of the world and witnessing an event that will forever be etched in history.  Today, 20 years on, I am taking the opportunity to reflect on the repercussions for the world we live in because of those hours of terror.

New York City does hold a special place in my heart.  I am not widely travelled and I have never lived more than 10 kms from the house I was born in, with the exception of a 3 month period living and working in New York when I was 24.  It is still the highlight of my career (I peaked very early).  As someone who has been fascinated with money and finance the opportunity to work on Wall Street was a dream come true.  I recall the enormity of the twin towers in the financial district of Manhattan.  They truly were a symbol of power like no other. 

Watching those planes crashing into those buildings was unfathomable.  Would I wake in the morning to find it was all just a nightmare?  As a mother of two very young boys I was watching one of my favourite shows, The West Wing, when the show was interrupted with the breaking news.  I woke my husband as we sat glued to the TV into the night trying to comprehend what was going on.  The reports kept coming.  It was not just those two planes – planes were crashing into other things as well.  I still recall the fear that we all felt at the time.  Perhaps this was the beginning of the end.

The attack only lasted for one day, but that was just the start of the fear.  Plane travel has never been the same and we take comfort in the security checks even if they do feel a bit inconveniet.  For the first few years I had family members who refused to travel on trains or drive into tunnels.  Major events felt like prime targets.  Those searching our bags as we entered stadiums were looking for more than just the vodka you were smuggling in hidden in your drink bottle.  While that fear has certainly reduced from those first few years, we are always so much more aware and cautious.

But there was also a very sad side to this one act of Terrorism that we are still very far from overcoming -that of racism, particularly towards those of the Muslim faith.  I cannot imagine how difficult it must have been for Muslims who were suddenly considered to be terrorists simply because of the way they looked, dressed or demonstrated their faith.  In the 20 years since the attacks we have made some steps towards understanding that Terrorist are not necessary Muslim, and that being Muslim does not mean you are a Terrorist, but we still have a long way to go. 

It is difficult to talk of racism when you are not from a cultural background that is a target.  Ironically one of the greatest perpetrators of terrorist hate crimes in recent history was a white European male.  Just because I have Eastern European heritage does not mean I have the same opinions as Hitler (far from it), and I am fortunate that no one makes that assumption.  Yet we assume anyone from the Middle East shares the views of ISIS or Al Quaeda.   It is as crazy as the Asian hate crimes we are seeing which somehow blame people of Asian appearance for COVID-19.

Yes, 9/11 did change the world.  On that day 2,977 people were killed.  In 2018 according to the website Statista.com 32,836 people died of terrorism.  We continue to find ways to hate each other for our differences, and kill each other for that.  However we only seem to take notice when the terrorism feels real to us.  In 2019, according to the Statistica website 8,681 people died as a result of terrorism in Afghanistan.  They would have been innocent people – fathers, mothers, children.  Yet we barely batted an eyelid if the media even bothered to cover the story.

Terrorism is not new.  Terrorism did not start on 11 September 2001, but for many of us that was the day we took notice because the victims looked like we do.  Today when you reflect on the anniversary of 9/11 remember all the victims of terrorism all over the world..   

Unprecedented

I remember an evening back in 2001.  I had two young children and they were fast asleep (like their father), while I watch the West Wing on TV.  As a mother to young children I treasured this “me” time. The ad break took us to a News Flash and there was a surreal report of a plane crashing into one of the towers of the World Trade Centre.  My gosh, I had been standing on the observation deck of that building only a few years earlier.  What a horrible, freak accident.

Shortly after I witnessed the second plane hit the World Trade Centre and suddenly this was not an accident.  I woke my then husband and we barely slept all night.  A sad part of our world’s history had been witnessed and during the weeks ahead we realised that life as we knew it would never be the same again.  We would learn to live with a level of fear.  In years we became a little more complacent about that fear, but it has never fully gone away.

That is how we are all feeling right now.  We are witnessing a point in history that we will be telling our grandchildren about.  I feel like I am witnessing one of those end-of-the-world movies.  I expect to see Morgan Freeman (rather than Donald Trump) addressing us as the leader of the free world, advising us that we will rebuild and recover after this unprecedented disaster.  Perhaps I am being a bit melodramatic, but without doubt this is going to be a defining moment in our history.

I need to commend both sides of our government for their leadership in this unpredictable time.  Scott Morrison’s unfortunate holiday to Hawaii has started to fade from our memories as he is working tirelessly to show leadership.  I can’t imagine the stress he is suffering at this stage.  I also commend the opposition for supporting the huge stimulus package that has been extended to the Australian economy.  It is with grace that they concede they probably couldn’t do much differently and allow legislation to pass uncontested.  It is very easy for us to be critical of our leaders but I am sure none of us would want to be in their place right now.

The stress is real and it is on each and every one of us.  The concept of contracting COVID-19 seems to have taken a back seat to what is happening in the economy.  We have not had significant deaths and the number of cases is not alarming (at this stage) compared to the population.  But this may change very quickly.  If we do not take responsibility and the virus spreads as quickly as expected, many people will die.  Our health care system is not designed to withstand this level of usage.  People will be turned away from hospitals because they simply will not have the capacity to treat them.  Look at Italy – at the time of writing this there had been 4,825 deaths.  If this was in Australia, you would no doubt know at least some of the people who have succumbed to the virus.  Once we start to know the people dying our attitude about the virus will change and the complacency will be replaced with fear.  

Unless you were around to witness World War 2, this is the biggest thing any of us have seen.  Our life is going to change in ways we cannot imagine in the next 12 months.  Unlike September 11 where our habits of attending public events or travelling were questioned, this time we are being forced to change our habits.  It will be interesting to observe how long the impact lasts, and how this will change the fabric of our culture.  The virus does not discriminate.  Businesses will suffer.  I don’t see any “winners” in this crisis.  It really is a matter of survival and without doubt many of those we look up to as business leaders or influencers will flounder as much as the rest of us.

It feels like war.  We are going back to basics.  We will not be able to go out and we will have to find other ways to occupy ourselves. We may have to learn how to bake bread and make biscuits (heaven forbid).  I am not sure how long the 3 cases of beer my husband has stocked up on will last?  I am not sure how we all will cope if he is not able to restock?  No sport on TV!  There will be only so many times we can watch The World’s Fastest Indian.  As much as I love him, I spend time away from him every week and this is going to stop, so we will be spending significantly more time under the same roof.  We really need to remember that we not only love each other, but like each other to get through this next 6 months.    

My jobs means I will be incredibly busy and that is a good thing, but not everyone will be so lucky.  We need to come together as a community so that we can survive and help each other survive.  We need to be creative.  We need to socialise in a way that is different to what we have known.  We need to share stories and support each other in this incredibly difficult time.

I remind you that this too will pass.  A vaccine will be developed.  Many of us will be infected and recover.  We will be resilient and find ways to creatively survive the economic downturn.  I am confident that as Australian’s we will take this on with our unique sense of humour and mateship. Please be kind and supportive to each other.  This is not about profiting – it is about survival.  We can make money and build our wealth when this crisis passes.

Guilty Work

I have no real idea why my mind works the way it does.  I am sure there is some incident that happened in my past that means my life needs to be defined by a sense of guilt, even if I have nothing to feel guilty about.  I often joke that I should have the words “Sorry” tattooed on my forehead.  I would imagine that word is among my top 10 most used words.  I feel guilty about the things I do and the things I don’t do.  It takes effort to try to reset my mind to break out of that feeling.

So today I write this to try to fend off the guilt mode as I am having a day of doing fun work.  I am in Brisbane and I am about to attend the Xerocon conference.  I know I am going to get a lot out of it.  I know I am going to have fun.  And I know I am going to feel guilty about it.  Fun at work?  In my mind this an oxymoron.

In order to clear my mind of the guilt I am going to start the day writing down all the reasons I will feel guilty. 

·       I feel guilty because my business partner is unable to attend so I am getting to have this fun adventure on my own. 

·       I feel guilty that my staff will have to do extra work because I am not there to do it.

·       I feel guilty because it is costing money for me to be here – not only in airfares, accommodation and attendance fees, but also in my lost productivity.

·       I feel guilty for all those clients who will urgently need my attention in these next two days and will be referred to a member of my team to help out.  They probably are better at helping than I am anyway, but that is not the point.  I am not there to answer the questions.

·       I feel guilty for leaving my husband back in Sydney to work while I am in Brisbane where is warm and sunny.

·       I feel guilty because I know I am going to enjoy myself.  How can I be paid for a day of work that does not result in invoices being issued to clients?

Even as I write this, I know that is sounds like a load of crap and that my mind it playing tricks on me.  I know the benefits of taking some time out to work on the business, not in the business.  I know that this is work and that I will gain some meaningful insights that will be helpful to my team and the business.  I know that it is necessary to stay up to date with all the latest information. 

There is a difference between knowing and feeling.  Knowing is the reality and feeling is that little voice that tries to take that reality to a different place.

As I sat on the plane last night, I turned off all electronic gadgets (cause I am good girl and I never do anything wrong) and I read.  I love reading but it is a guilty pleasure (that word again).  There are so many other things I could be doing – but for that hour and half I just read.  It was awesome.  I can feel my creativity creeping back in.  For the first time in months I felt like writing.

Which makes me wonder, is the guilt I am feeling not really guilt, rather a reaction to the change process that is going on with me internally.  Here is a bit of honesty – I actually don’t like accounting.  I know, sounds crazy, but I don’t.  I love using the information from accounting to turn the numbers into something meaningful, talking about them, creating a path for my clients to follow…CREATING.  For all these years I have suppressed my inner creativity to do what I am good at (which is numbers), not what I enjoy doing. 

This year I have been on a big path to create.  I have developed Tradie WAGS from scratch which has allowed me to write, learn and explore.  It has taken me out of my comfort zone and makes me feel proud and excited about work again. 

Xerocon is not your typical accounting conference – it is fun, innovative and inspirational.  It is about the things I love – not just numbers.  As I walk out the door now, I know I am going to come back inspired.  Lets hope I can manage to keep the guilt at bay.  Inspiration is calling.

A Line in the Sand

As accountants we are fortunate to celebrate the new year not once, but twice a year.  On Friday we  finished each conversation with “Happy New Financial Year” and when speaking with other accountants we were all equally as enthusiastic in our wishes, but also keen to see an end to this financial year.  It has been a tough one, and other accountants agree that for some reason 2018-19 was particularly “taxing” for accountants.  Oh, we are a funny (and nerdy) bunch of people!

Having two New Year’s each year means that I get a second chance to do all the things I had planned to do in January but didn’t get around to doing.  Life sometimes gets in the way of a good plan.  1 July gives us the opportunity to assess what we did wrong in the last year and make those mid-year adjustments.  Personally, I am not a fan of resolutions but I do like to draw a line in the sand and not look back.  1 July really is my line in the sand.

Before we get to 1 July I am going to write down all the things I didn’t achieve this year so I can let them go. 

1.        I did not lose weight.  I am so full of excuses as to why I didn’t lose weight but the simple fact is I ate too much and I let my exercise slip back just a little.  I did enjoy some really good food and wine and can honestly say that all of those calories were consumed with enjoyment.  I tried gluten free, dairy free, sugar free and alcohol free but in the end I decided life is way too short to restrict myself when food is an enjoyable part of my life.  

This year I am going to just make the best choice at the time, own my choice, enjoy my choice and not beat myself up about it.  I am 50 for goodness sake.  I am never going to be a size 10 again.

 2.       As hard as I tried I did not meditate every day, nor did I exercise every day. I did not write in my journal every day and some days were completely lacking any sort of plan.  I simply did not have time.  OK, sometimes I chose to squeeze in an episode of the Billions, Suits, The Good Wife or the The Good Fight instead of the “good” things I should have been doing, but that was purely for educational reasons.  I learn a lot from watching these dramas!

This year I will probably do exactly the same.  I will start the day with the best intentions and if I don’t meet my targets I will not beat myself up.  I will recognise that sometimes the “me” time I need can be achieved by tuning out while watching a favourite show.

 3.       I set out to be a person who was always upbeat and positive, but I really didn’t achieve that.  I was not always the nicest person to my family and friends.  Sometimes I felt like crap and didn’t feel like making dinner, cleaning the house or solving everyone’s problems.  Sometimes I exploded a little at work which was very unprofessional.  Sometimes I completely lost my cool with my husband undeservedly.  Sometimes it is easiest to take it out on the ones you love.

I will no doubt have bad days when the anxiety of running a business and having so many people rely on you becomes overwhelming.  I know this year was particularly tough for me for many personal reasons, and I am incredibly grateful that I can put these things behind me now.  Rod, seriously, thank you for supporting me through this difficult year. I know you have tried to change yourself as well and I think we have grown closer as a couple this year.  In the new year I will try to recognise I am who I am, flaws and all and that it is natural to have bad days.

 I have this out of my system now.  I am really looking forward to the opportunities the new year holds.  We have worked so hard to grow our business and I think this year is going to be the year we finally see some rewards for it.  We are taking on 3 new team members in July and hopefully that will free up some time so that I can write, meditate, exercise and challenge myself professionally.  I know it is going to be tough.  I know there will be more tears and tantrums.  Bring it on.  I am ready.

 Tonight I will have a quiet drink to farewell 2018-19 and tomorrow I will draw that line in the sand, embrace the present and not look back.

 Happy New Financial Year everyone.

Snow in Goulburn

This week I was very excited to see snow in Goulburn for the first time.  It may sound a bit silly to some, but to me it was awesome.  For many years I have endured the cold and wind, but the occasional time it snows I am not there.  Finally, the snow coincided with my schedule.

I have the privilege of being a member of 2 communities.  It is not something that many people can say as most people have one home.  For the last 15 years I have spent half of my week in the country town of Goulburn, and the other half of the week in the Sydney suburb Winston Hills.  This allows me to observe the similarities and differences between the two communities.

There is a common belief that you cannot be a true member of a country community without being born and bred in that community.  I am sure that is true for some rural communities, but Goulburn has never appeared that way to me.  If you make the effort and try to fit in without any arrogance about being from the “city”, country people will welcome you with open arms.  I have made the effort.  I have been involved in community groups (Chamber of Commerce, Rotary and other networking events) and of course I meet many clients.  I deliberately made this effort at the start to be social and involved, and then it became a natural part of my time in Goulburn.

I love my Goulburn community.  I love being able to walk down the street and say hello to people.  I love that I know so many people in the community and I can be a voice in that community.  I have the Federal Member in my building and I attend meeting with the State Member and the Mayor.  I know council members, lawyers, dentists and other business owners.  I can speak with farmers and appreciate the weather and its effects on the community in ways I would not have considered before my Goulburn time.  There is a unity that comes in being “Goulburn”.  Regardless of your stature in the community or your wealth, there is a commonality of place that brings acceptance and diversity not seen in Sydney. 

Winston Hills is part of the Hills District in Sydney.  It was where I was born and bred and as such I should feel a belonging here.  Yet I am not sure I feel that same connection. In the suburbs we have micro communities that form around the things we do; sporting organisations, clubs, hotels, schools and workplaces.  We stick to our little groups and we do not look too far beyond that.  Maybe there are just too many similar people in such a small space to look beyond?

In our suburb, like many suburbs of major cities, we are all rather similar.  We are of similar economic status and culture.  Our tribe looks and sounds like us as we have common interests.  I know this is a generalisation and of course there are exceptions, but from my point of view I am invisible in my Sydney community.  In Goulburn I am a visible, active community member.  I know so many more people in Goulburn than in Sydney.  The people are diverse in wealth and culture, so I get to meet people from all walks of life.  I am proud of Goulburn when it achieves something.  I can’t really say that about Winston Hills.

I am fortunate to have a mix of both worlds.  I can be visible for the part of week, and then come back to Winston Hills where no one really knows me.  I get strange looks in Winston Hills when I am walking down the street smiling and acknowledging people.  In Goulburn you always get a friendly acknowledgement back.  However, I do think people are starting to change in Sydney.  I have a great bunch of friends in Winston Hills who allow me to be myself without judgement.  I do get the occasional smile or good morning on my walks now.  I find myself more frequently seeing people I know at the shopping centre (although no-where near as much as in Goulburn). 

I would not have imagined 15 years ago when I first drove into Goulburn to look at an accounting practice with my (then) boss what an impact that place would have on my life.  No one knows what twists and turns may come your way but I am glad I have had the opportunity to be part of another community, and grateful for all the amazing people I have met as a result.

When your resources are human

It feels like ages since I have had the time to write.  In fact, it feels like ages since I have had the time to do anything more than work, eat and sleep.  It is the busiest time of year for our business and Michael and I made the commitment to focus all our attention on the business for July and August.  This was our choice.  We believed we could cover the load despite being short staffed.  Surely it couldn’t be that bad.  A few extra hours of work each day and we would could get through the workload.  We have honoured our commitment, pretty much working seven days a week, late nights and early mornings.  We are now certain that working at this level is unsustainable and thankfully things are about to change as we replenish our resources – we are hiring more humans.

In the classic chicken and egg scenario, we knew we needed more staff, but we also needed the money to pay for the new staff.  We needed new staff to do the work, to get the money, to pay for the new staff.  We work harder to try to make the money so we can afford these people but we too are only human.  I have been unbearable to live with and be around, and I think I have aged about 10 years in the last 2 months.  I can see the toll it is taking on Michael as well.  We have let this go on for too long and a change is needed urgently.

It is cycle I have become familiar with in this industry.  There is a basic formula that a staff member should be making 3 times their salary to be cost effective.  That means we need to grow a pool of new clients in order to justify hiring a new person.  Depending on the salary level, that could be quite a lot of work, or quite a big risk if the work does not come in.  The pain level builds to a crescendo until you have no choice but to hire a new staff member.  The pain eases off and for a moment you feel overstaffed.  Then it all starts to build again.  Right now, we are at the peak of the wave, at breaking point.  We have two new staff members starting in the coming weeks.  I feel like I can start to breathe again.

We knew that we would have a staffing issue at the beginning of the year, and like most businesses, we waited until things were getting critical before seeking help.  We called on our friends Kenny and Raeleen from Red Leaf Consulting, and we have been so grateful for the help they have given us.

I am a numbers person, and in all honesty, I thought Human Resources was kind of irrelevant, and just a department that organised payroll, employment contracts and other documents relating to staff.  I had minimal interest in the function and could not fathom how a HR department could add value to an organisation.

I have been amazed at what Red Leaf have done for us, and I am certainly seeing the benefits of having a considered approach to managing staff and hiring new people.

We started the process with a strategic planning session.  While it was a great session, I was questioning what this had to do with HR.  We know our business, so why is it relevant to a HR consultant to know what we want to do with our business?  Light bulb moment, our business is driven by people.  If we want to take our business in the direction we have planned, we need the human resources to do this.  More importantly, we need the right human resources.  Suddenly things were making sense.

We already have a great bunch of people who work for us, putting in effort day after day.  However, there were frustrations with the way staff were working, both individually and as a team.  We could also see some frustrations with the way Michael and I were working together.  Why do people act or react in the way they do, when that is not what I would do in that situation?  Why are certain personalities clashing within our small team, and how am I to handle this as their leader? 

Red Leaf suggested we run a DiSC profile (personality test) on the entire team to give us some clues as to the work styles of our team members.   The test involves answering 30 simple questions and as you are answering the questions you are thinking how can this possibly tell anything about me?

The resulting document which outlined my personality explained me to a T (both the good stuff and the bad stuff).  When our team members completed their profiles, it explained each of them rather accurately as well.  Ok, so it is not perfect, but it is a great tool to use and I am sure it has helped me over these past few months.  I am more understanding of my staff and why they are the way they are.  I am more understanding of myself and why I act the way I do, or why I feel frustrated doing the tasks I really don’t like doing so much.

The next step was to work out what profiles suit each of our job descriptions, and match those to the staff we have.  It has given us a basis to move staff into roles that suit them better, playing to their strengths where we can.  It has also given us a tool to use when we hire new staff.  I highly recommend it for any team.  We can all use some improvement, and this is a simple and effective way to understand our staff’s individual work styles as well as how the team functions.

Interestingly, I was the lowest ranked out of all of my staff to be an accountant.  This does not mean I am not a good accountant (I am a great accountant), but it does mean that I don’t have the personality to be your typical accountant.  It makes sense.  I don’t get excited preparing a set of accounts.  What I get excited about it using those accounts to help people.  The numbers speak to me and some weird numerical creativity starts to shine though.  I love watching businesses grow, I love coming up with new ideas.  I love MY business and coming up with new ideas for MY business. 

Thankfully I am not an accountant, I am a partner in an accounting firm and that is a job I am perfectly matched to do.  My job allows me to exercise my drive and creativity.   Hopefully our new resources, of the human kind, will free up some of my time so that I can get back to doing what I love – helping my clients to drive their business's forward.

A big thank you to Kenny and Raeleen from Red Leaf Consulting for your continued support over the past 6 months.  To get in contact with them go to www.redleafhr.com.au

Try July

July is a notoriously bad month for accountants.  We wait in anticipation for that fresh diary page and all the possibilities that the new financial year will bring, and then bang – it’s Ground Hog Day.  All the plans for managing the work load, delegating and being on top of your game are thrown out the window and the chaos ascends.  We used to find the first few weeks of July a little cruisy while people gather their information, but with increased technology information is arriving much quicker and there is no hiatus.  It all starts again on 1 July and it really does not stop until Christmas.

A few people have asked me if I am doing “Dry July”.  I think it is because I have been on a bit of a health and fitness campaign of late.  While I think Dry July is a great idea, I don’t think it is a good idea for me because July is not my month to achieve goals.  I think “Try July” is a more appropriate course of action for me.  I have been living by this mantra all month, and as it is the last week of July, I thought I would write about how I am coping at this stressful time of year.

Try July is all about being a little kinder to myself.  I need to not beat myself up about not meeting my targets and goals.  I need to acknowledge that I am doing the best I can.  Yet, this is so much harder said than done.  Stress messes with your brain.  Stress makes you think irrationally.  Stress makes you think you are failing and the vicious circle of negative internal talk keeps running through your mind, exponentially compounding.  Techniques are needed to break this circle, and sometimes just getting by should be good enough in the short term.

My coping strategy is to focus on routine and planning.  Routine means making sure I don’t miss my 3 training sessions a week, but not punishing myself for not attending any extra training sessions.  Routine means going to bed at normal times and waking at normal times, and not feeling guilty if I am so tired that I go to bed at 8pm on Sunday night.  Routine means making the best food choices at each meal, but not beating myself up for being a little lax in those choices, and sometimes taking a few shortcuts.  Rewards are small but taking a little time out read a book, or watch a favourite TV show are OK.  Missing writing my blog for a week is OK.  Not being up to date on social media is OK.  If I have missed wishing you a happy birthday or responding to a message, please do not take it personally – I am just doing my best right now. 

Planning is the second element to getting through this busy time.  Without a plan I do not function effectively and I take short cuts.  No plans are set in stone, but at least I have something to refer to when my head is so full I cannot think straight.  I am now running with two dairies.  One is to list all the things I need to do, the other is put those into a plan for the day.  I am limiting what I need to do each day and actively considering what I can delegate.  I am being realistic in my expectations, and I am largely achieving what I set out to do even if it is a little outside of the timeframes I set for myself.

Trust is a big thing for me.  In order to delegate, I need to trust others, and trust is something I have identified as a problem for me.  My team are doing a great job and proving to me that I can trust them to help me. Every day I welcome those little surprises when someone has taken care of something for me and released that little bit of tension.  It is the small acts of others that can make a big impact on the way we work as a team. 

I possibly sound like I am whinging, but I am not.  I am grateful that I have a successful business and that we have an abundance of wonderful clients.  I am grateful that I have a team of staff who are dedicated to the business. We all have stressful times in our lives and it just happens to be my difficult time of year.  I think it is important that we recognise that we are having a hard time and go a little easy on ourselves.  Remember to be proud of our achievements and not focus on the elements that are not perfect right now.

I took Sunday off and did very little.  It was fabulous.  I prepared meals for the week to eliminate the bad food choices I am likely to make.  I allowed myself to sleep in, to go for a walk, to watch The Good Wife, to relax.  I may not be the life of the party at the moment but that is OK.  I am taking each day one step at a time and before we know it July will be over.   The weather will start to warm up, the extreme workload will ease a little and we will be heading towards Christmas and a possible holiday.  Bring on that summer motivation.  There are a whole new set of goals and possibilities ahead, and perhaps a glass of wine to go with it.   In the meantime I will just keep on trying.

A time to celebrate. Happy 10th Anniversary Jigsaw

Happy birthday to us.  I find it hard to believe that it has been 10 years since my 3rd baby came into existence – Jigsaw Tax.  I look back on this anniversary with a mixture of feelings.  It has been challenging and rewarding.  I have made some great decisions and some bad decisions, and by gosh, I have learned some things along the way.  I am both proud of myself and disappointed that I have not achieved the goals I had set from myself 10 years ago.  But this journey deserves a moment to reflect and celebrate.

In 2008 I naively took that giant step of purchasing the Goulburn practice from my employer at the time, Hadley Jones.  I was newly separated from my first husband and had just started a new relationship with the man who would become my second husband.  I had nothing to lose, and everything to gain.  This was going to be easy and in 10 years I would be sitting pretty.  I would own a house, be able to work flexible hours and have achieved that “work / life” balance we all speak of.

In 2018 I sit here in our rented house having put all my energy and money back into a business that has grown well beyond my expectations.  I am exhausted from working exceptionally long hours, and stressed as I consider that the new financial year has arrived and the busy time starts all over again.  I have not achieved my goals and that is what makes me understand the challenges of being in business.  Just like many of my clients things don’t always go to plan.  There have been many sleepless nights and silent tears.  Being in business can be a lonely place and only other business owners can truly understand the pressures you face day in, day out.

It isn’t all bad.  In 10 years our turnover has grown 4 times since that first year.  I now have a business partner and thank Michael Konarzewski for his constant support at running this business.  We have changed our name, adding Advisory to Jigsaw Tax as we think that our greatest skill is providing exceptional tax and business advice as well as compliance services.  We employ 15 people over 4 locations.  We provide our services to around 3000 clients each year and have helped many of our clients to either improve their business or to get themselves out of trouble with the ATO.  Of this I am enormously proud.

When I watch our team perform I have noticed that the thing that makes us perform the best and feel most satisfied is ‘service’.  When we come up with a solution or get a good result for a client who is having difficulties, collectively we feel a sense of achievement.  We are empathetic to our clients.  We treat them with respect without judgement and I think this sets us apart from some of the other accountants out there.  We don’t always get it right but it is the ‘service’ aspect of the business that makes us tick and gives us the greatest pride.  We rank our service ahead of monetary gains and perhaps that is why I haven’t been able to meet my personal goals of financial success.

However, I have managed to keep my family housed, clothed and feed.  My sons have been educated and have both gained an understanding of the business world which will stay with them as they move into their careers.  I am healthy and happy even if I am not basking in abundant wealth. 

I would really like to thank those who have helped me to get to this milestone birthday. My husband Rod, who listens and helps me through the highs and lows with his doses of reality and wisdom, who understands that I do have to put my work first, travel away each week, and sometimes my mind is so full of work that I don’t give him the attention he deserves.  My boys, for understanding that I can’t always help out at school or make parent teacher interviews, and for helping along the way when they can.  My parents, who have helped me out financially and believed in me when others may not have.  My staff, both past and present who have shared the dream and promoted our vision.   We work as a team and I couldn’t have done this without each of you.  I would like to make special mention of Kay, Deanne and Cassy who have been a part of the Jigsaw team since day 1.    My business partner Michael, who has helped me out in countless ways, and to his wife Tara who is so understanding of what we are trying to achieve.  Our clients, many of whom have been there for the 10 years with us.  Without you we would not exist and your constant support is so appreciated.

This afternoon I am going to take a few moments out from my busy schedule to celebrate.  I think I will buy myself a celebratory cocktail and just reflect and enjoy before it all starts again tomorrow.  We are not going anywhere and it is onward and upward for us.  Here’s to the next 10 years and I shall enjoy looking back on this in 2028 to see what we have achieved.    

Am I addicted to work?

Addiction is something I have been thinking about quite a lot lately.  I am curious to understand the difference between a habit and an addiction. 

When I google the definition of addiction I find the following:

“the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma. “ (www.dictionary.com)

This would indicate that an addiction is a really bad habit.  While I enjoy the habit of drinking wine or going to the gym, I don’t believe that the cessation of it would cause severe trauma.  I was listening to a podcast yesterday and someone mentioned that work can be an addiction.  It was like a bolt of lightning struck me in the head.  Is that my problem, am I addicted to work?

If I am not doing something productive, I have no idea what to do.  I start each day, each week with a list of things I need to achieve.  I proudly tick off my list as I go.  I typically add a whole bunch of new items to the list as the week progresses which only adds to my frantic schedule.  I see everything I do as having an impacting on how I work.  Do I bring my best game to whatever it is I am doing?  Am I displaying myself in the way I want to be seen?  Is there an opportunity that I am overlooking?  And on the occasion when I do sit down and try to numb by brain a little by watching Netflix – I feel guilty as there is always some other piece of work I could be doing.

Like so many others I wear my “busy badge” with pride.  But why?  Does anyone really care if I am busy or not?  Am I just being boring when people ask me how I am, and my answer is always “really busy”.  Have I just got into such of habit of being busy that it has formed an addiction?

I am certainly not the only person out there who works hard.  Anyone who owns their own business appreciates that there is no such thing as 9-5, and work-life balance means that you occasionally slot in some time in your schedule for your family or to exercise.  We make sacrifices of our family life, our health and our well being for our business.  When work is your life – there is no need to balance anything out.  Of course, this is not healthy, but sadly it is true for a lot of business owners.

The picture I have included with this blog is of my office in Goulburn.   This is my bed which is in my office, allowing me to maximise my working days when I am away.  I arrive in Goulburn on Tuesday morning.  I work until I am ready to crash out.  I pull out my flip-out bed and I get a few hours sleep.  Depending on how busy I am, I set my alarm for either 3am or 4am.  I pack my bed away and I turn on my laptop and work until I leave the office at around 5pm for the 2 hour drive home.  No wonder by the time I get home I am exhausted.  I am definitely not bringing my best game to my family!  Thankfully this is only 2 days per week – but it is 2 days each week that I sacrifice to devote entirely to my business.  I am lucky to get to 4000 steps on those days.  I am no hero, I am just someone who is addicted to making sure my business succeeds.

I have not idea why I do this.  What drives me to take on more, to work harder, to aim higher?  Why is it so difficult to delegate work?  Is it that I don’t trust that others can do what I am doing, or is it that I need to just be busy?  I feel that I need to apologise to my staff on a regular basis if we have not met our targets because it is my fault - I did not work hard enough.  Perhaps I should have worked on Sunday as well as Saturday?  Why do I feel so accountable and unable to just let go a little, to share the responsibility, to be a little kinder to myself?

So what can I do about this possible addiction?  There is possibly a self-help group called Workaholics Anonymous, but I can’t see that being too successful.  No one would be able to fit the meetings into their schedule.  I know I would struggle to fit it into mine.  I think any solutions will require baby steps rather than radical change. 

I am pretty close to finishing my 30 day detox challenge and I am thinking my next challenge will be something to do with breaking my work addiction.  I am not exactly sure how to do this but I am going to start with meditation.  I have not mediated before but I am going to learn how.  My next challenge will be 30 days of learning how to mediate and seeing it is helps to quieten my mind.  Stay tuned, I am sure there will be another blog in this new challenge.

If anyone has any suggestions, please feel free to leave a comment.  Now get back to work 😊

Do we need a bit of failure to achieve better results?

I ask this question because I believe everything happens for a reason.  I often feel like a bit of a failure, particularly when it comes to business.  I do have a reasonably successful business, but I have not achieved anywhere near what I intend to achieve, and most people at my age have already made it.  Literally starting all over again at the age of 37 following my separation did not help financially but it did make me re-assess what is important in my life. 

Rather than give in I just keep trying harder.  To me, failure is not an option.  I could have taken the job in finance and lived on a generous salary and we would be financially much better off.  But I did not choose that option.  I chose the more difficult path because I wanted to achieve something for myself.  Small fails along the way are a glitch, a set-back, but it is not going to be what defines me.  And what is failure anyway?

On the weekend I attended my son’s semi-final in representative rugby league.  After 2 years playing representative football for a club that was not ranked very high in the competition, he was fortunate to be chosen to play for one of the best teams in the competition.  For the past 2 years his old team did not win a game, and this year his new team entering the semi-finals in an undefeated position.  He has come a long way with his football in this past year and I am very proud of his dedication to his chosen sport.

But over the weekend something went wrong.  The team didn’t play to their usual standard, Jordan didn’t play to his usual standard, and they lost.  I am not calling this a failure, I am calling this a loss of one game, but the feeling of mild devastation was there. 

Over the past two years we watched countless defeats.  As parents we were still cheering the team on and finding anything positive to encourage our kids.  Step forward a year and as parents we are viewing this one glitch in a totally different way to the positivity of losing in previous years.  But why?  It is all a matter of perspective. 

As athletes, it was impressive to see how quickly these boys could turn their disappointment around and use it as motivation for the game this week.  In business, our mindset is not always so refined.  We dwell on what has happened, what could have happened, what should have happened.  But are we learning from our mistakes and making ourselves better because of it?

As I mentioned at the beginning of this blog, I do believe that everything happens for a reason.  It may not be evident at the time, but if you go with the flow, use the small fails along the way as a lesson, you will come out in a better position.  If I had not failed Macro Economics 2 at university all those years ago, I would not have become an accountant.  I am sure that failure happened for a reason.

Think about your own situation.  What small failures have you had that made a big impact on your life?  How difficult was it to get over and what was the outcome?  Are you now in a better job, a better relationship, or just happier because of the changed situation?  Did it make you a stronger person?

I don’t think there is any successful business person who has not had a few failures along the way, so embrace them with a positive attitude and see what they will bring to you.

Courage

When you look at successful business people there are some common traits that set them apart from the rest of the crowd.  There are many books you can read on these traits, habits and personality profiles, however one stand out trait is courage.

It is courage that made you go into business.  Sometimes this may be mixed with an element of stupidity, however the courage to put your family, your staff and yourself into a position of vulnerability is a defining factor.  You need to back yourself and your decisions.  It is not just hard work that makes a business successful.  It all starts with that leap of faith and is reinforced by courageous decisions made each and every day.

I look back at our business as it approaches its 10th birthday and wonder if I would do it all over again?  Somehow it made perfect sense 10 years ago as a newly separated single mother to purchase a business in Goulburn, 2 hours away from my home, without a cent to my name.  The challenges both personally and professionally have certainly been a constant presence, but the feeling of achievement is one that cannot easily be replicated.

What drives me and others like me to take this giant step into the unknown?  I certainly don’t believe it is for everyone.  We all have our own risk profiles and as a business owner you need to be able to accept a reasonable level of risk.  But there must something more that drives business owners than accepting risk and expecting to work hard? What is their why?

People chose to start their own business for a number of reasons.  It may be family driven, the requirement for flexibility with work hours.  It may be passion for what they do, or it may be the drive to prove others wrong, to show them that you can do it.   Whatever your driver is, when you look back on your business journey and the courage it has taken you to come this far, you should be proud of yourself.  Never forget your why.

Yet the next step is going to take even more courage as we move into a disrupted world.  What will your business look like in 10 years?  What will you do to make sure your business evolves to survive?  What courageous steps will you be taking into the unknown?  Courage and survival go hand in hand.