Today I am 50

Today I turn 50 years old.  I can’t quite believe I am that old but it is a privilege to have made it this far in such good health.  There is no doubt that a big birthday like this is a time to reflect and today I have already had the opportunity to laugh and cry with my family.  I have had messages, cards and presents and I thank everyone for their support of my over this first 50 years.

I have been thinking about what to write about this day for weeks now.  It was a year ago that I started my blog Jigsaw Jo with the intention of documenting my year long journey to 50.  It was my time to become the fabulous women I aspired to be.  It was my intention that by today I would feel like I had achieved a measure of success that I could be proud of.

Unfortunately my plans got a little side tracked.  I must say it has been a crazy year. I have made some small improvements and fought some battles.  I have grown my existing business and started a new business, which diverted my attention from Jigsaw Jo to Tradie WAGS.  I have moved house (again) and watch my kids grow into independent adults and leave my nest.  Work has been more demanding that ever and I have felt a lot of pressure as a business owner this year.  I am sure there are many more wrinkles on my face after the stressful year I have had.

I have not achieved any of the objectives I had set for myself this time last year.  I still hate the way I look but I am starting to come to the realisation that this is who I am.  Despite committing myself to going to the gym and being fit and healthy I am still overweight.   I never have a decent photo taken of me and I cannot take a complement because deep down, I do not believe any complement made to me can be true.  Despite all of this I am slowly starting to feel a little more comfortable in my own skin.  I am making a determined effort to be confident, putting myself in situations which force me to test my resolve and take me outside of my comfort zone.

My age should not be a barrier to achieving what I really want to achieve.  One thing is for sure – I am not ready to give up yet.  While I have not succeeded in the traditional way that most people succeed, I am mildly proud of what I have achieved so far.  I don’t own a house and I have no wealth, so to most people I am not a success.  However, I hold my head high and give 100% each and every day to everything I do.  I have helped so many people with their finances and businesses.  I have supported my family and raised two great young men.  I have provided jobs to many people over the years and helped my staff to develop their skills.  I have volunteered my time to a number of not-for-profit groups and love to be involved in my communities.  I am proud of my integrity and generosity.

I love learning and I welcome a challenge.  Sometimes it all feels a little too much but most of the time I love what I do.  I am looking forward to the next decade when new ideas will pop into my head driving me in the next direction.  I know there will be many challenges and obstacles along the way but that is what makes life interesting.

That is me.  I’m Jigsaw Jo, flaws and all, and now I’m 50.